How Did I End Up Here?

Forget playing. Forget coaching. Even forget managing. After just ten games 'on the job', I can already see why refereeing is regarded as the hardest job in football.

Players are praised when they have a good game. Coaches and managers are praised when the players are at their best. Praise is a hard thing to come by as a referee - you are expected to see every foul and expected to call every offside. But if you have a bad game, you'll never hear the end of it.

Let us start at the beginning. I was never a talented footballer - strong as an ox and as brave as a tiger I am certainly not. I can barely get the ball of the ground. But I love football - there had to be some way I could be involved. Refereeing seemed to check all the boxes. Another advantage was that it paid well (for a seventeen year old), and didn't involve long hours collecting shoes for customers in a shop, or waiting tables in a restaurant. To begin my 'training', I had to apply for a Basic Referee Course, and was subsequently crowded into the Devon Football Association HQ Clubhouse with forty other soon-to-be-qualified referees, while we watched 'accomplished' referees give presentations on what to book people for and what to send people off for. We spent an entire three hour session learning the measurements of the football field - I can picture myself now, an hour before kick off, wandering along the length of the pitch, just making sure that it was at least 100 yards long.

And that was it. They didn't assign us to any games, or get us any kit. But most importantly, I was still unsure  how to control a football match. Needless to say, after spending a ridiculous amount on kit, whistles, watches and cards, I found myself putting it all together in the dark, cold changing room prior to my first game in charge. It seemed a fairly unimportant, mid-table clash between two teams in the very bottom division of Exeter's Saturday League. I'm sure my nerves showed. I heard comments from the touchline - "he doesn't know what he's doing", and "he's completely lost control of this game". I have no doubt I must have looked absolutely clueless, but I have learnt numerous lessons since that day:

• 'Close' games are the worst - if a team is already 7-0 down, they'll have given up, and will blame themselves rather than you. If its 1-1 with five minutes to go and you miss a foul or an offside, they'll be all over you like a rash.
• Never - I repeat, never - change your decision. Nothing looks more ridiculous than giving a corner, being told by the team the decision was given against that it was in fact a goal kick, and, red-faced, trying to explain that you were wrong.
• Avoid stopping the stopwatch. Because, undoubtedly, you will forget to start it up again. If it's quarter to five in the afternoon, its hardly going to be the third minute of the second half.
• Players whining? Get used to it. If you booked every player who complained at your decisions, you'd find yourself a lonely man on the field by ten past three. In ten games, I've dished out four bookings - the players will only find a way to give you a harder time if you start jotting them down in the book.

Has it been worth it? Thus far, I'd say yes. I've had my bad days - unlike any 'bad day at the office' - but on a good day you get a feeling of satisfaction that can only be matched by... well, winning football matches. £40 isn't a bad figure to make for a few hours each weekend.

Let's see how this unfolds...